How To Cope with House Envy

Stepping into a friend or neighbor's home might set off house envy (yes, that is a real thing!).  Everything seems so perfect, light, bright, airy- effortless, in their home. Just the though of having to return to your cramped, dark messy, oh-so-humble home makes you want to melt into the floor.But don't worry.  We've all been there.  Even the proud owner of the mini mansion next door you've been coveting has no doubt felt house envy.  So what do you do when the desire to keep up with the Joneses is burning hot? For starters, log off of Zillow.  Next, keep reading to learn how to love your home again and stop feeling that house envy!  Click this link to read the full article.

“People with gorgeous homes often have a heightened sense of aesthetics, desire, and achievement," says Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Santa Rosa, CA. "When that's coupled with a desire to have the best, even a home that may appear perfect to others may never feel quite good enough.”Granted, house envy is an old concept that's coined well-worn clichés like "keeping up with the Joneses." Only today, even if you've got the nicest house in the neighborhood, it's all too easy to gawk at real estate listings online and feel dissatisfaction rear its head all over again.

So let's just come out and say it: House envy is normal. But if you find it's become an unhealthy obsession, here are some things you can do to keep it from cramping how you feel about your own home—and even channel it into productive endeavors.

Know the difference between liking and wanting

“When we find something to be beautiful or extraordinary, we’re often tempted to ‘have it,'" says Manly. "This response is natural, but important to notice.” Go ahead and ooh and aah over stunningly beautiful home listings, but unless you're truly in the market for a new home, you don't need to also pull up a mortgage calculator and then beat yourself up about how those payments are out of your financial reach. Just appreciate what you see, much as you would admire fine art in a museum. Just because you like "Girl with a Pearl Earring" doesn't mean you should bemoan the fact that you can't hang it in your living room.

File it away

Spot a shag rug you love? Or are you salivating over some quartz countertops in someone's new kitchen? Rather than try to squelch your envy, embrace it. Get the name of the designer and model number, or, if you spot the image online, pin it to your own personal Pinterest board for design inspiration to delve into later. After all, there's no reason you can't cop the same look, albeit on a smaller scale. Plus, “In learning to appreciate and then file away your objects of desire, you can cultivate a sense of patience and satisfaction,” says Manly. “A desire doesn't always need instant action.”

Think of your home's high points

Instead of wishing you had a personal movie theater in your basement like your neighbor, list five things you truly appreciate about your own home. Pick what you personally value over showmanship. “Maybe the view out your window, or a picture you have in your bedroom is meaningful to you,” says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., author of "Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love." Magnifying the positive will help minimize those nagging wants for something else.