A recent survey by TD Ameritrade found that more than half of post-college grads are moving back in with their parents. This is often a mixed bag of emotions as each party adjust to living together again that can lead to some tension. So if that’s where you’ve found yourself, keep reading. We’re sharing some tips to make the most out of moving back home. Click this link to read the full article.
How to prepare
Before you plan to move home, you should have a plan to leave, said Susan Newman, a psychologist and author of “Under One Roof Again: All Grown Up and (Re)learning to Live Together Happily.” Know how you will eventually move out and discuss a possible move-out date with your parents.
“It helps you focus a little more on your job hunt,” she said.
If you don’t have a job yet, don’t stress. Here are 50 things you can do to score your first job.
If the date passes, you can always reassess.
You should also talk about your schedule. When you were in high school, your parents might have expected you for dinner every night. Now that you’re an adult, if that’s not the case, you should have a conversation to reset those expectations so Mom doesn’t get offended when she makes your favorite dish and you’re at the bar.
How to have a social life
While you may want to have friends or dates over whenever you want, you still need to respect your parents’ feelings, Newman said. After all, it’s still their house.
Kate Moore, a 26-year-old content creator with Precision Marketing Group, has lived at home for about two months. She said it’s best to establish boundaries on day one.
“You’re used to gallivanting around town at all hours of the night and returning when you felt like it,” Moore said. “Now that you’re back under your parents’ roof, you need to maintain a delicate balance between respecting their space and maintaining your freedom.”
If you expect to be able to come and go as you please, make that clear, but also promise to be considerate.
How to avoid clashes
If you had tension with your parents before you moved out, don’t expect that to go away this time around. Make sure to address it head-on once you move back in, Newman said.
For example, if talking about politics always leads to an argument at the dinner table, Newman suggests making clear that is an off-limits topic for both of you. If your parents have disagreed with you on certain issues your whole life, like your style, friends or politics, come to an agreement that you won’t let those issues come to a boil.
Some parents simply won’t listen. It can be hard for the people who taught you how use the toilet to treat you like a fellow adult.
“One thing that might help a lot of the time is to say to your parents, ‘Wait a minute, I’m not the little kid I was before and I really don’t like being treated like a teen who just got my driver’s license,’” Newman said.
However, that also means acting like an adult. Clean up after yourself and don’t expect your parents to do everything for you.
How to avoid feeling like a mooch
Moore said her parents charge her only as much rent as their utilities increased from her living with them. She said other people moving home should work out how they could contribute to the costs in bills and food they’re accumulating for their parents. Little gestures help, too.
“Sometimes I delight my parents by bringing home a case of paper towels or a gallon of 2% milk,” Moore said. “Small contributions to the greater household will go a long way.”
Don’t act like a guest, Newman said. If you don’t have a job, find other ways to help, like making dinner or mowing the lawn. Yard work for neighbors might also be a good way to earn some extra money.